Wednesday, February 10, 2010

Snow, Depression, Snow, Depression, And More Snow

Unless you've had you head buried in the sand the past few months, you know the US east coast has been hammered with snow. Today we got our 3rd (yes 3rd) blizzard this season. From a person that suffers from seasonal disorders, it's been a challenge to keep my head screwed on correctly. My depression has really kicked in this week.

Before this storm arrived, 3 days after the last snow fell, roads in our area are still snow covered and very dangerous. Some neighborhoods were never touched by a plow before the second storm hit last night. That's my Prince Georges County (MD) tax dollars at work. Even my trusty back road path to work was a horrible mess, it was scary yesterday morning - and I have four wheel drive.

My depression shows not only at home but at work. The people I work around couldn't see it if it punched them in the face, they just think I'm angry and cynical by nature. When you see those commercials about depression, and they say it hurts, I am here to tell you that's true. It's a horrible feeling, loss of appetite, no interest in anything, and the anger and outbursts are about anything and everything. Waking up with panic attacks is probably the thing that hurts the most. Depression makes me tired, then I can't fall asleep. Then I wake up constantly, and like this morning, with a mild panic attack.

So, I am anxious to get the bad weather out of here, bring on Spring. If I never saw snow again I'd be grateful. For now I want to avoid the doctor and medication, I don't wanna be numb. I've been there and done that. Just a few more weeks and I'll be out of the woods...

John Crawford

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